We have not talked about work for the first 24 hours of his sabbatical. I was scared it was going to be hard. It isn't, at least not right now. Things about our work have been at the tip of my tongue several times and I've let them just float away. None of it is that important, anyway. Last night, a friend came and hung out with Light of My Life while Spouseman and I went out for a nice dinner, a martini for him and a mojito for me. Then we came home and watched almost 3 hours of "Carrier"--a rather astounding mini-series produced by PBS about life on an aircraft carrier deployed to the Persian Gulf..
Only rarely do I get a glimpse into the parts of my husband that were shaped by being a gunship pilot in Vietnam. I can look in his eyes and look at the beautiful young men and women who are pilots on the Nimitz and know that he is in them, and they in him. Warriors. I watch his mirth at the antics. At one point, the camera was focused on the back of a young man wearing a pair of pants way down low--I mean way down low--with the words "crack kills" written on them. Had time folded back and captured a moment in my husband's past? Spouseman just rolled with laughter while I dissolved with love and amusement looking at him so identify with that young man.
Watching all that life in the midst of combat and war unfold over those three hours made me feel close to him in a way that working with him--even concelebrating--does not. I fell asleep last night wondering at the mystery of loving someone I don't have to love, who doesn't even necessarily need my love or always accept it. But who has made a commitment together with me, to make "us" real. He was he, I was I and we were us for the first time in a long time.
Sabbath time...
What a wonderful post about BEING with your husband. Thank you for allowing me to peer into your thoughts. Praying the sabbatical will offer refreshment for your spouse and deepening of your relationships with each other. Blessings.
Posted by: Cathy | May 03, 2008 at 08:08 AM
What a wonderful post about BEING with your husband. Thank you for allowing me to peer into your thoughts. Praying the sabbatical will offer refreshment for your spouse and deepening of your relationships with each other. Blessings.
Posted by: Cathy | May 03, 2008 at 08:08 AM